Admit the shortcomings and you will be more successful
The book of success teaches us to use “positive thinking” to “self-affirm”.
However, this simple and easy to learn method often leads to more frustration.
Hud has never been a particularly confident child.
His academic performance is moderately low, his body is thin, his appearance is not outstanding, and with his innate silence, he is the most inconspicuous among his peers in school.
Hurd’s father was a successful businessman. He couldn’t stand the son’s disappointment in school, especially his son’s untiring attitude.
“Herde,” he growled. “Get up every morning, you want to be like me, say to yourself: ‘I am great, I am smart, who doesn’t love me?
‘So you can fight a full day in spirit.
Hurd did it every day, but he privately silenced his friend: “This is simply ridiculous, I feel sick.”
“Success is like eating fast food?
Since the early 1950s, the best-selling book called “The Power of Positive Thinking” has swept the American continent, and simple and easy-to-operate concepts like “positive thinking” have become the most basic in the wave of self-help culture.Creed.
They are parasitic in a high-tempo society in the name of “mainstream,” and have been producing one success story after another for more than half a century.
People are constantly being infiltrated by this self-service culture from various media channels.
These so-called “success tips of success”, which are based on self-affirmation, are still very popular today.
When I open any successful book, I can almost see that self-affirmation is true: “I am outstanding in the field I am under the jurisdiction of”. “I have enough time, ability, and wisdom to realize myself.”The good wishes”, “Who said that I am worse than others, since we are admitted to the same school, it proves that I am no worse than others.” “I encourage myself to achieve my goals every day.” “I have established a positive, healthy self.”Image”, “I found a confident, passionate self”?
But how much expansion and integration can these words encourage themselves?
And it is certain that some assertions have very obvious logical errors. For example, students admitted to the same school must have no difference in their personal abilities.
Even those very general awards, for example, “I am great, I am very good”, what causes the specific stimulation of ordinary people’s psychology?
The more you suffocate, the more you have been discouraged, and even for decades, there has been widespread recognition of self-encouragement, but few people have used rigorous methods to examine the effects of these beautiful words.
Joanne Wood of the Department of Psychology at the University of Waterloo in Canada and her colleagues decided to explore this topic.
They published a paper in PsychologicalScience in July 2009, questioning the effect of self-affirmation and designing a test to verify their own conjecture.
Wood asked a group of volunteers to undergo a standardized test of personal self-esteem and self-identity, quantified the results, and screened out the two highest and lowest associated groups.
Immediately, she asked the two groups of participants to copy the written materials at the same time. In the process of copying, there was a ringing sound every 15 seconds – and before starting the transcription, Wood would give each group a random selection of half of the members.Command: When the ringing sounds, I will meditate on myself “I like it.”
After the transcription was completed, all volunteers immediately received another quantitative test of emotional and self-identification.
The other part of the trial was similar, except that the instructions given to the experimenter were slightly different.
Wood will ask half of the colonial volunteers to think hard while thinking about the phrase “I like people” and look for the basis for the establishment of this sentence; the other half will analyze it from both positive and negative aspects.Is it right?
The results of the experiment are very clear and ironic.
The two-time answer scores of the transcription materials show that for those who are more confident and self-identified, the self-affirmation every 15 seconds does a slight improvement in their mood.
Those who were dissatisfied or dissatisfied with themselves were not so lucky. Their situation was even worse, their moods became depressed, and they were more demanding.
But the most interesting result is that the average density of experimenters who are desperately trying to prove their preference is lower than the other participants in the second emotional and self-identification test—although sometimes they not only analyze themselvesThe advantages, but also did not evade the shortcomings that I don’t appreciate so much.
This probably explains Hurd’s resentment.
In theory, it is very difficult to find a balance between two mutually resisting and tactile thoughts. We cannot say that we are not guilty of self-respecting, and most people are still deeply resistant to it.True self-inconsistent judgment.
Forcing yourself to say something that is praised, it will make people want to start their true nature and how inconsistent these words are, and unrealistic praise may be like pouring oil on the fire, adding a kind of thinking.power.
This power may be strong enough to fight against people’s self-confidence, and completely grind all false slogans.
Admit that the shortcomings are more successful, perhaps full confidence can indeed improve the mood and improve work performance, but it should be based on a true and comprehensive understanding of the self.
Admit that he has a shortcoming, and the effect of the unpleasant factor is smaller than the deliberate denial and rebuttal (this is why the participants in the second set of experiments in Joanne Wood’s second group of experiments are better.the reason).
Moreover, knowing yourself clearly, when you are going to complete a specific task, can enable people to choose the optimal solution according to their characteristics to the greatest extent, instead of asking for the sword as usual, and causing trouble for themselves when they encounter problems.